This Confusing Life Journey

Its a new year. So far its starting out ok. I am nervous cause there are so many things I want to do. I want to travel, do daily sketches, push for a new job, and get my confidence up. Tired of having regrets about everything I wish I did differently in life when it comes to family and friends and career.

Sometimes it feels like I just don’t know whats right or wrong. Whats the difference between getting taken advantage of and doing something for someone because you care and want to see the best for that persons future. Either way they benefit right?

I have met people last year that are good people with bad habits and poor ways of thinking about life. Negative people and positive people. Motivated people and unmotivated people just going through the motions.

I have a tendency to be really hard on myself. I think its cause I was just raised that way. Everything always had to be perfect or done a certain way and you couldn't deviate from that cause if you did you were a bad person. Then I move to LA and every aspect of that is challenged. How do you know a good person from a bad person? How do you classify someone as good or bad other than the classic definitions in the bible or what your parents told you as a child? The world is this big confusing ball of dirt to me these days. All I can thing to do is just be myself and live the best way I know how.

Should a person not speak their mind when they feel hurt for fear of hurting the other party and destroying a relationship? Or maybe they should risk it and say what they gotta say and hope the person wont hate them forever.

What does it really mean to live a good life? Being a wife having your own family, or having a amazing career and money? Chasing your dreams and doing all the things you always wanted to do, is that important? Or is it more important to stand by family and friends in hard times even if they are not caring or concerned about your needs as a human being living in this crazy world?

Should a person be transparent to the world about who they are or should they share it with the world no matter how explicit or no matter the criticism? Maybe not, maybe its better to stay hidden. Read a quote today that I liked from Zora Neal Husrton, “If you are silent about your pain, they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” Its interesting, I related to it.

At what point is self preservation selfish fulfillment of personal desires no matter how it effects others around you? At what point does loving yourself, taking care of yourself, and protecting yourself, become nothing but a impractical display of egotism and arrogance intended to display your elevation above others.

They say its a thin line between love and hate. To me Love and hate are so black and white and we live in this very gray world.

The world confuses me. Might as well just stop thinking about it and just go make stuff. Back to drawing. Enough of the nonsense.

Big Booty Jane Forever!

~Arie

The Big Booty Jane Calendar.

So I am working on a Calendar. I think i might have mentioned this before. I decided to do a pin up calendar but I wanted to have it feature a fun plus size character and have it be different from what I usually see in pin ups. I just hope it accomplishes that.

I have laid out a lot of pages, but I am going to put project on hold for a little while while I work completing the first  story of Big Booty Jane, Galactic Space Cop.

I always liked sci fi and I wanted to do something that would also make me laugh and in a way make fun if sci fi so I put together this story!

The first story is going to debut in Smut Peddler so I cant share to much with you guys. Oh and by the way, its a erotic comic. Will be drawing lots of naked people. LOL!

I stopped doing nudity for a long time in my work. But I realize its not that I don't like drawing that sort of thing, I just don't really like drawing it for other peoples requests and commissions. I would rather do fun playful stuff that I find appealing and personally enjoyable. If other  people enjoy it as well then cool.  If not then they don't have to look at it.

I guess it all comes down to self expression.

I already get the occasional on looker that thinks something is wrong with my drawing pin ups. I don't know how many times I have heard other say I draw women as if I am a man.  I had a older women at a comic convention scold me for drawing pin ups and then buy one of the drawings I did of storm lol!

At the end of it you cant make everyone happy. So you draw what makes you happy instead. Be yourself and be creative!

The Wrong Environment Can Make or Break You

I spent a lot of years fighting to be what I thought other people wanted and finding I was never satisfying enough for the individual I was trying to please (especially when it comes to family.)  Pleasing people has been a bad habit a long time and I am looking to change it.

The reason why is cause people often project their own personal experiences, both good and bad, onto you and then expect you to handle situations the way they would have handled it. But then, there is no guarantee they would have handled it correctly themselves. 

I think one of the most important things a person can do for their careers is finding the right environment with the right like minded people where everyone is giving each other room to be themselves. That is when innovation and creativity really begin to take off.

Trying to convince someone, that knows nothing about what it is you love to do, that you are doing the right thing when they think it is wrong, is like trying to fit an elephant into a small glass bottle. People who are not artists or business owners always want to tell the artist or business owner to get a real job and do what they love on the side.  Meanwhile, you got all these people out there that are running their business on a full time basis, successfully. 

So you mean I should quit doing what I am doing and go work for someone that is already doing what I am trying to do for myself. Yeah I would call that bad advice. It’s hard though. Especially when the bad advice comes from family, that have certain expectations of you to perform a certain manner. Usually that means doing what they did growing up to get where they are now.

Unfortunately not everyone is meant to be a follower in this world. Some of us have to be leaders too!

School Can Pull You Down

   Seen to many friends get lost in their expectations of what school was supposed to bring them and they ended up forgetting who they were.  The bad thing about art school in particular is that not only is it way to expensive, but you got all these individuals claiming to be an authority on how to have a successful career telling you that you need to do things the way they did them when the teachers aren’t even working in the field they are teaching you about.
I learned this the hard way!

I heard of people going to school graduating and then becoming teachers at the school they graduated from and teaching the new students coming in how they think they should be drawing or painting and then failing them if they don’t do what the teacher expects.

The funny thing about animation is it’s not just about entertainment. Animation is an art form, as well. You are an artist first and animation is only an expression of that. After all it’s the next stage of progression in creativity. We love seeing our imagination bloom to life.  I am coming to find there are a lot less rules and regulations than I thought there were.  Your lines don’t have to be perfect all the time. The colors don’t have to be bright and vivid to get people’s attention.  Hell you may not need color at all! You just gotta go out and be creative. Fuck what they say!

Side note: I am not discouraging getting an education. just saying be careful how you let it effect you.Make sure you always think for yourself and avoid letting others make decisions for you. ( times out of 10 what is right for you is going to be wrong for someone else and vise versa.

Value your art work more than anyone else no matter what!!

Sometimes when you get use to doing something all the time you start to see it as not all that important of a thing. For a long time as an artist I have to admit I didn't understand the value of what i do. That it could effect people or be important to others. Especially when it comes to fan art.

 I figure its not my characters its no big deal, but there are some people out here that see dollar signs when they see your abilities and those individuals will do what ever they  possibly can to get in your favor if it means they can get a little peace of what you do and they can use it for themselves.

We live in a world where we are told to be good, and how to act, and how to not hurt others, and to love others as they love us and treat them how we want to be treated. But underlying those old sayings there is a pit of snakes waiting to grab hold of the next over excited artist looking to "get exposure" or that is just excited that someone liked there stuff, so much so, that they are willing to give it away.

I heard a saying the other day at work. it goes like this. " How do you get an artist to work for free?    Tell them how great there art is."

Since moving to LA I see it more now than I ever did. a cesspool of disgusting people waiting to find there next sucker so they can walk all over them and make them do what they want all while making the person being victimized feel bad about not liking how they are being treated.

Artist if you don't value what you do I have news for you. There's someone out there waiting for the chance to take the things you don't feel like are important and turn it into profit for themselves.  They are waiting for the chance to take that sketch you through in the trash heap cause you didn't like it and flip it for there own benefit. They might even claim to be you just so they can get some attention for themselves.

Protect yourself at all costs. You deserve better than being used and abused for someone selfish greed.